Dear Ask A Nanny,
Why are the bees disappearing?
Thank you for your answer.
Sincerely,
Carol Steinberg
245 West End Avenue, apt 11 C
New York, NY
Dear Ms. Steinberg,
This is a timely question, though I doubt that you have ever seen a bee on the Upper West Side. Flies maybe. Roaches most assuredly. But bees? I don't think so. As to the reasons, if you will recall von Frisch's studies on bee rotations, this will explain it fully. May I suggest that you go to Fairway and start hoarding honey at once. Our grandchildren may never know the taste if we don't stock up now.
Yours truly,
Ask A Nanny
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Why all the violence?
Dear Ask A Nanny,
I notice that many confused people write to you. I don't understand why there is so much awful stuff going on. We have everything, the malls are full, shopping in the US is just wonderful and we don't have to endure the kind of awful things that people in other countries regularly experience. We have lots of tv sets and iPods and computers too. Oh, and also indoor plumbing. I don't get it.
Puzzled in Hershey
Hershey
Pennsylvania
Dear Puzzled,
Dominic the Tooth has just addressed this eloquently on NannyWorld. Apparently, owning a lot of things does not eradicate the bad feelings, especially those of anger, in our citizens. Stuff doesn't replace connection. It is up to each of us to live as loving members of our community. For instance, we Nannies conduct the NannyWorld blog helping confused people like yourself. It is important to do public service. I hope you feel better now.
Sincerely,
Ask A Nanny
I notice that many confused people write to you. I don't understand why there is so much awful stuff going on. We have everything, the malls are full, shopping in the US is just wonderful and we don't have to endure the kind of awful things that people in other countries regularly experience. We have lots of tv sets and iPods and computers too. Oh, and also indoor plumbing. I don't get it.
Puzzled in Hershey
Hershey
Pennsylvania
Dear Puzzled,
Dominic the Tooth has just addressed this eloquently on NannyWorld. Apparently, owning a lot of things does not eradicate the bad feelings, especially those of anger, in our citizens. Stuff doesn't replace connection. It is up to each of us to live as loving members of our community. For instance, we Nannies conduct the NannyWorld blog helping confused people like yourself. It is important to do public service. I hope you feel better now.
Sincerely,
Ask A Nanny
Monday, April 16, 2007
I am forty-five and stuck
Dear Ask A Nanny,
Well, here goes. I am forty-five and I am ready for a change. I am living up on a mountain in the Adirondacks and spend my time hunting and doing target practice. From reading your blog I have the feeling that there must be more to life, but I don't know what? Do you think I could get a role on Law & Order?
I am waiting for your answer.
Stuck
RD #3
East Collateral, NY
Dear Stuck,
My, what an interesting name! You didn't mention your gender, not that that is important in my answer at all, not in the least. I think you might be perfectly suited for a small cameo appearance in Law & Order. Chris Noth is currently appearing in an outre dream sequence on NannyWorld. May I suggest you follow him there and perhaps gain a familiarity with his acting technique. Even aspiring actors (actresses) must do their homework.
Sincerely,
Ask A Nanny
Well, here goes. I am forty-five and I am ready for a change. I am living up on a mountain in the Adirondacks and spend my time hunting and doing target practice. From reading your blog I have the feeling that there must be more to life, but I don't know what? Do you think I could get a role on Law & Order?
I am waiting for your answer.
Stuck
RD #3
East Collateral, NY
Dear Stuck,
My, what an interesting name! You didn't mention your gender, not that that is important in my answer at all, not in the least. I think you might be perfectly suited for a small cameo appearance in Law & Order. Chris Noth is currently appearing in an outre dream sequence on NannyWorld. May I suggest you follow him there and perhaps gain a familiarity with his acting technique. Even aspiring actors (actresses) must do their homework.
Sincerely,
Ask A Nanny
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Good taste in clothing
Dear Ask A Nanny,
I like to wear only gray with small pink accents. My husband thinks it is "retro" and it reminds him of his mother who is on in years and was a teen-ager in the Fifties. I guess she wore a lot of argyle sweaters when he was young and it made a bad impression on him. With my coloring, gray and pink are the only things that work. What do you think? Should I add maybe some aqua?
Color Confused on Thomas Street
Tribeca
New York
Dear Color Confused,
Well! This is not a problem at all. Your husband's deep unconscious attachment to you is because you remind him of dear old mum. Why not add some winged rhinestone glasses and he will be lulled to perfect attunement. You could try saying in a stern voice: "Clean up your room! Brush your teeth!" and see how he reacts. If that works, then say, "Give me the number of your Swiss bank account." Or, "Tell me the name of your mistress!" He will probably become more conflicted about your bedroom activities, but Nanny Tina is seeing patients and I'm sure she could either free up her schedule or give you a membership at the Nannacize Jim.
Cordially,
Ask A Nanny
I like to wear only gray with small pink accents. My husband thinks it is "retro" and it reminds him of his mother who is on in years and was a teen-ager in the Fifties. I guess she wore a lot of argyle sweaters when he was young and it made a bad impression on him. With my coloring, gray and pink are the only things that work. What do you think? Should I add maybe some aqua?
Color Confused on Thomas Street
Tribeca
New York
Dear Color Confused,
Well! This is not a problem at all. Your husband's deep unconscious attachment to you is because you remind him of dear old mum. Why not add some winged rhinestone glasses and he will be lulled to perfect attunement. You could try saying in a stern voice: "Clean up your room! Brush your teeth!" and see how he reacts. If that works, then say, "Give me the number of your Swiss bank account." Or, "Tell me the name of your mistress!" He will probably become more conflicted about your bedroom activities, but Nanny Tina is seeing patients and I'm sure she could either free up her schedule or give you a membership at the Nannacize Jim.
Cordially,
Ask A Nanny
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Chocolate Jesus Confusion
Dear Ask A Nanny,
Everyone is making a stink about the chocolate Jesus. Why is this less good than a marble Jesus? Please explain.
Thank you in advance.
Stumped in Schenectady,
322 Pine Street East
Schenectady, NY
Dear Stumped,
Your question is excellent. As a child I received a chocolate cross in my Easter basket every year. It was decorated with little icing flowers. I saved it until last to eat. Delicious. Was I taking the suffering of Christ in vain? I don't think so. Today things are different. Everything has a political meaning and often what was once serious is now something we call "ironic" especially in the arts. The question we must ask then is: How was this piece intended? And how can history judge since the Choco-Crucifixion will probably melt on the first warm day in May? So it's moot. And then, there is the question of explicit genitals. Dear O Dear, is there any doubt that Christ was endowed as are all males? Were they in marble would that be better? What it assures for the artist is lots of press, appearances, sales, autographs, photographs and next year's rent. Ask a Nanny has learned that Cadbury has signed him for a new mini-Jesus line for next Easter. The chocolate (milk and bittersweet) will be filled with carmel cream.
Sincerely,
Ask A Nanny
Everyone is making a stink about the chocolate Jesus. Why is this less good than a marble Jesus? Please explain.
Thank you in advance.
Stumped in Schenectady,
322 Pine Street East
Schenectady, NY
Dear Stumped,
Your question is excellent. As a child I received a chocolate cross in my Easter basket every year. It was decorated with little icing flowers. I saved it until last to eat. Delicious. Was I taking the suffering of Christ in vain? I don't think so. Today things are different. Everything has a political meaning and often what was once serious is now something we call "ironic" especially in the arts. The question we must ask then is: How was this piece intended? And how can history judge since the Choco-Crucifixion will probably melt on the first warm day in May? So it's moot. And then, there is the question of explicit genitals. Dear O Dear, is there any doubt that Christ was endowed as are all males? Were they in marble would that be better? What it assures for the artist is lots of press, appearances, sales, autographs, photographs and next year's rent. Ask a Nanny has learned that Cadbury has signed him for a new mini-Jesus line for next Easter. The chocolate (milk and bittersweet) will be filled with carmel cream.
Sincerely,
Ask A Nanny
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